A glance through the eyes of a pencil

Archive for the ‘General’ Category

A classy affair – South Africans in court

The problem

Baffled, surprised and confused, the headmaster spent the entire morning trying to figure out why there still remained a striking difference in the behavior of his classes. Some classes brought excellent results coupled with immaculate behavior. Other classes displayed pathetic behavior to say the least, and as a result of the chaos, the standard of education declined with each passing day. With the results of the assessment in one hand, and his head in the other, he instructed his secretary to schedule a teachers meeting after school. Even if it took the entire afternoon, this headmaster had to get to the bottom of this otherwise the beautiful summer night that the moon promises might be sleepless.

‘They will appear in court’

Not wasting anytime with intros and ‘hellos’, the headmaster dived straight into questioning while the teachers were still getting settled. The worst of the lot were called up first. Amongst them, Mr. Mayanmar, Mrs. North Korea and yip…you guessed it…Mr. South Africa. Mr. South Africa has been experiencing a lot of problems recently in his class particularly with the class’s public fund. As the students funded towards end-of-year braais, better stationery etc., the class captain and a few others in charge ‘reaped the benefits’. Eventually a lack of funds led to poor facilities which in turn led to the students having to pay more. When Mr. South Africa was asked what happens to those caught in the act, he simply replied “they sit in detention” aka “they will appear in court” –  A statement that is found in every news article that deals with bribery and corruption in South Africa.

A brief comparison

Swallowing his anger, the headmaster then called the educators that were showing impressive results. Ms. Finland, Mr. China and Mr. New Zealand were called up. Mr. New Zealand was quick to express his shock at the way Mr. South Africa handled his students.

“Well i don’t believe in detention. Depending on the crime, my students are expelled, suspended or stripped of the captaincy and made to sit in the back of the class” he said.

“I have realized that when other students see the consequences of corruption, it forces them to stay away from such acts” added Mr. New Zealand.

Mr. China then nodded in approval and remarked “I agree with him. Remember that girl from Mr. South Africa’s class that once brought drugs into my class (Janice Bronwyn – Google it), i made sure she gets expelled but ever since she left, the students think twice before entering my class.”

At this point of the meeting, the headmaster was intelligent enough to identify the problem. The meeting was dismissed and Mr. South Africa was called for a private discussion in his office the next day.

 The solution

It was a lengthy discussion with a cup of tea and a pack of biscuits. The summary of the discussion was as follows

“Mr. South Africa, the chaos in your class is due to the fact that you fail to set an example. When those seated in the front row are caught pocketing the public’s funds or accepting bribes to demand an easier lesson, you cannot simply seat them in detention/allow them a court appearance. What happens in court? A few words are exchanged, a fine that amounts to a fraction of what was stolen is issued or perhaps a few days absent but eventually the student is back in class. Some of your students act sick and avoid the courts. Remember! The students sitting in the back rows are watching. They know very well when they take the front seats they can fill their pockets and if they get caught it’s just a few hours of detention. Your class will never find discipline until and unless serious action is taken. Other classes are showing brilliant results because they are not shy to expel or suspend their culprits. Get rid of the scum in the front row and those seated at the back won’t try their tricks when they get a front seat. Mr. South Africa, you have forgotten rule no. 1 in the teacher’s handbook…

 ‘You have to be cruel to be kind’.

~Yusuf Omar~

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FORGIVENESS AND ITS HEALTH BENEFITS

According to recent research, American scientists established that those capable of forgiveness are healthier in both mind and body. Dr. Frederic Luskin, who holds a Ph.D. in Counselling and Health Psychology from Stanford University, and his team, studied 259 people living in the city of San Francisco. The scientists invited the subjects to attend six one-and-a-half-hour sessions, and aimed to instruct the subjects in forgiveness during their conversations.

The subjects of the experiments stated that they suffered less after forgiving people who had wronged them. The research showed that people who learned to forgive feel much better, not only emotionally but also physically. For example, it was established that after the experiment psychological and physical symptoms such as stress-related backache, insomnia and stomachaches were significantly reduced in these individuals.

In his book, Forgive for Good, Dr. Frederic Luskin describes forgiveness as a proven recipe for health and happiness. The book describes how forgiveness promotes such positive states of mind as hope, patience and self-confidence by reducing anger, suffering, depression and stress. According to Dr. Luskin, harboured anger causes observable physical effects in the individual. He goes on to say that:

The thing about long-term or unresolved anger, is we’ve seen it resets the internal thermostat. When you get used to a low level of anger all the time, you don’t recognize what’s normal. It creates a kind of adrenaline rush that people get used to. It burns out the body and makes it difficult to think clearly-making the situation worse.

In addition, Dr. Luskin says, when the body releases certain enzymes during anger and stress, cholesterol and blood pressure levels go up-not a good long-term disposition to maintain the body in.

An article called “Forgiveness,” published in the September-October 1996 edition of Healing Currents Magazine, stated that anger towards an individual or an event led to negative emotions in people, and harmed their emotional balance and even their physical health. The article also states that people realise after a while that the anger is a nuisance to them, and wish to repair the damage to the relationship. So, they take steps to forgive. It is also stated that, despite all they endure, people do not want to waste the precious moments of their life in anger and anxiety, and prefer to forgive themselves and others.

There’s a physiology of forgiveness… When you do not forgive, it will chew you up.

According to an article titled, “Anger is Hostile To Your Heart,” published in the Harvard Gazette, anger is extremely harmful to the heart. Ichiro Kawachi, an assistant professor of medicine, and his team scientifically demonstrated this with various tests and measurements. As a result of their research, they established that grumpy old men had three times the risk of heart disease than their more tempered peers. “The tripling of risk,” Kawachi says, “involves high levels of anger, explosive anger that includes smashing things and wanting to hurt someone in a fight.”

Researchers believe that release of stress hormones, increased oxygen demand by the heart’s muscle cells, and added stickiness of blood platelets, which leads to clots explain how anger increases the chance of a heart attack. Furthermore, at times of anger, the pulse rises above its normal level, and leads to increased blood pressure in the arteries, and thus to a greater risk of heart attack.

One of the moral traits recommended in the Qur’an is forgiveness:

“Hold to forgiveness, command what is right, and turn away from the ignorant.” (Qur’an, 7: 199)

In another verse Allah commands: “… They should rather pardon and overlook. Would you not love Allah to forgive you? Allah is Ever-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Qur’an, 24:22)

Those who do not abide by the moral values of the Qur’an find it very difficult to forgive others. Because, they are easily angered by any error committed. However, Allah has advised the faithful that forgiveness is more proper:“The repayment of a bad action is one equivalent to it. But if someone pardons and puts things right, his reward is with Allah…” (Qur’an, 42:40)

“…. But if you pardon and exonerate and forgive, Allah is Ever-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Qur’an, 64: 14)

The Pencil

Pencil: I’m sorry…

Eraser: For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.

Pencil: I’m sorry because you get hurt due to me. Whenever I made a mistake, you are always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That’s true. But I don’t really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I’ll be gone and you’ll replace me with a new one, I am actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.

I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational. Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They are always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way… they get hurt, and become smaller (older, and eventually pass on). Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

“The knees of an orphan child goes numb…when he sees a disrespected mum”

“With tears rolling down his eyes he wishes he had…A perfect role-model, a loving dad”

LETTER FROM MUM AND DAD

 My child,                                                                   

When I get old, I hope you understand and have patience with me.

In case, I break the plate, or spill soup on the table because I am losing my eyesight, I hope you do not yell at me.

Older people are sensitive, always having self pity when you yell.

When my hearing gets worse and I can not hear what you are saying, I hope you do not call me ‘Deaf!’

Please repeat what you said or write it down. I am sorry, my child. I am getting older.

When my knees get weaker, I hope you have the patience to help me get up. Like how I used to help you while you were little, learning how to walk.

Please bear with me, when I keep repeating myself like a broken record; I hope you just keep listening to me. Please do not make fun of me, or get sick of listening to me. Do you remember when you were little and you wanted a balloon? You repeated yourself over and over until you get what you wanted.

Please also pardon my smell. I smell like an old person. Please do not force me to shower. My body is weak. Old people get sick easily when they are cold. I hope I do not gross you out. Do you remember when you were little? I used to chase you around because you did not want to shower.

I hope you can be patient with me when I am always cranky. It is all part of getting old. You will understand when you are older.

And if you have spare time, I hope we can talk even for a few minutes. I am always all by myself all the time, and have no one to talk to. I know you are busy with work. Even if you are not interested in my stories, please have time for me. Do you remember when you were little? I used to listen to your stories about your teddy bear.

When the time comes, and I get ill and bedridden, I hope you have the patience to take care of me. I am sorry if I accidentally wet the bed or make a mess. I hope you have the patience to take care of me during the last few moments of my life. I am not going to last much longer, anyway.

When the time of my death comes, I hope you hold my hand and give me strength to face death.

And do not worry… When I finally meet our creator, I will tell Him to bless you, because you loved your dad and mom.

Thank you so much for your care.

We love you.

Regards,

Mom and Dad

MARRIED OR NOT…

Married Or Not… You Should Read This:

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer;she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake o fmy company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said forI loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since m ydivorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten metres with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling some what upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin,that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

A Friend In Need

You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder over them. Read the message straight through, and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world?

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners?

3. Name ten people who have won the Nobel Prize?

4. Name five people who have won the Pulitzer Prize?

5. Name ten Olympic winners, any country, any sporting code?

6. Name any five people in parliament?

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies…Awards tarnish…Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials..the most money…or the most awards…

They simply are the ones who care the most!!

Go ahead and return the favours…Don’t wait for tomorrow…

It’s already tomorrow in Australia…

Or in Some Part of The World!

“Seize the opportunity to help  a man in need…For he sees your contribution as the greatest deed” ~ @poetrypencil (Twitter)

Your shoe size can tell your age…

Your shoe size can tell your age…Try this and see:

1. Take ur shoe size..
2. Multiply it by 5.
3. Add 50.
4. Multiply by 20
5. Add 1012.
6. Subtract the year u were born…

The 1st digit is your shoe size while the last 2 digits are your age….. Prove me wrong if you can….. lol

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